As Easter is approaching, I am feeling reminiscent of my state of mind last year to what it is now. I never really understood Easter before. Don’t get me wrong, I have been a believer all my life and I treasure the gospel so deeply. However, the resurrection of Jesus is something that I am learning to unravel. Because it is something so glorious, my small mind could not find a way to comprehend it. But as I have been going through a new cycle that I am learning to become familiar with, I am understanding what it is to come back to life. I have always been a lively soul, save the exception of last year where my spirit was crushed, and probably dead- I can say that now. I had lost sight of purpose and hope. In a place where I thought nothing would ever see the light of day again, I felt a breath of life come back and breath into my soul. The seed of hope slowly began to sprout again. My roots were never carved out. My soul came back to life. I understood the gospel, not only the part I memorized growing up; but this time it became something far deeper. I understood love and grace- and I discovered redemption. The dwindled little dot of light shaped itself into the spotlight and the once shattered girl remembered her steps into the beautiful dance she performed without a care for the spectators. I did not care for the boos, I did not live for the applause. I was following the light and moving to its tempo. I remembered what all this was for. It was something bigger than myself. Down there in that pit of darkness I asked why I was here. There came a flashback to a time years ago, I stood there, a little girl glaring at her mom as she said, “YOU are special. YOU are a difference maker.” In that dark place I did not believe the words, regardless I uttered them- until I could. I was not my circumstance and this was not destiny; it never is for anyone. The more my faith grew as I uttered the words, the brighter the light became, lifting me out of the pit. I understood then that Jesus did not only come back to life for the sole purpose of recognition but to give life himself. We live life waiting for heaven like dead souls only surviving. We never bothered to ask for heaven to come down and keep us company in this life. We do not believe that grace is real and within our reach and true happiness is only a step of faith away. But it is, it always has been.
Thank you so much for reading. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comment box below. Much love,
Marifer Angulo