Change. I always said I was good at that. I was very flexible and I could adapt to any setting I was placed in. But, that was before I moved out of state, far from everything that I once knew. Due to a miserable first year, I learned that no matter how well we adjust to circumstance, some things bend so far out of our control that we eventually snap. Some changes take a little longer for us to warm up to and the wait can be very overwhelming. I just want to share how I was able to deal with change for those of you who need some guidance adapting. I am no therapist but I think experience is also a great teacher and I hope these tips work for you.
- Have a plan. And by that I mean, plan A, plan B, and plan C. Some changes are inevitable, but if you know that you are going into a new setting, you do want to know where you will land your feet. Write things down, whether it be simple goals you have while going through this adjustment or ideas even. Make sure that you have something to redirect you when you feel lost at sea. I wish I had written things down. I had expectations but in the middle of all the shifts in life I was facing, the voice of reason seemed very far. I know that when you’re in a new setting it can feel lonely so it is very important to listen to a voice of a different mindset, even if it is your own words from another point in time.
- Get out of your comfort zone. Do not wait for things to come to you, go out there and make it happen. We have become very entitled in the sense that we do not think we have to work hard for success. We think that simply by looking the part, we have it made. It does not work like that, we need to push ourselves into the direction we want to go, no matter how much it may scare us. That may mean putting a little more effort and making small sacrifices but the end result is worth every lost hour of sleep. Go and introduce yourself and do not expect people to introduce themselves. Valuable relationships never get a chance to flourish because we were always waiting on the other person to approach us.
- On that note, do not take rejection too harshly. I have been in situations where I step out of my comfort zone and I do not get the response I expected or hoped for. It is important to accept that rejection is a possibility and before doors open, there is a lot of door slams we have to face. As long as you keep bettering yourself and take each note given, eventually you will get a “yes” that will make you forget all about the prior “no’s.” Let every rejection be a push for you to try harder.
- Chill. You cannot control what happens and you need to accept that. I have many ideas and I get easily excited about almost anything. I make plans and I am very committed to following through. However, sometimes plans crumble to pieces and for me that really stopped me in my tracks. I had a plan for what I’d do when moving out of state, a pretty detailed plan with an optimistic vision. The plans derailed to say the least and I chose the freeze method as a means to cope. I just gave up and had very little aspiration. I did not realize that many roads lead to one destination. I may have gone off track but I could always find a way. It’s okay to take a pit stop and rethink the approach to get there.
Ultimately; have a plan, make a move, let rejection push you further, and be okay if the process never followed with the plan. Plans are a good guide but do not let it become your rule book because part of being alive is to be spontaneous. Sometimes the surprises life throws at you is the water you needed to bloom. Choose to live life to the fullest even when there are no familiar faces to encourage you. Learn to be your own motivator and let your dreams be from your own passion and not someone else’s.
Thank you so much for reading. I hope you can take something from this. Please feel free to share thoughts in the comment box below. Much love,
Marifer Angulo
EL SOL Y LA FLOR 